After 3rd night of work. I’m tired. I looked at the staffing for that day and there are 7 staff for the night so I told the day Charge to cancel me when they don’t need me. My friend asked to get lunch so I fell asleep for only 3hrs and got up to get some lunch. This girl is the RN-girl from the club last SaturdayThen got invited to see her place. I fell asleep at her place and woke up without any call from the hospital, turns out I had to go to work. Thank God I have a change of scrubs. Went to work disgruntled. Oh btw, that girl finally confessed that she’s older than me, much older. haha. I totally knew it since her information wasn’t consistent. Back in the bar she mentioned that she’s been a nurse for 4 years so I totally knew she’s not as old as she said she was.

Hey Tumbler, I’m going to Philippines. I’m gonna drop by to Hong Kong first, but when I go back to Manila, I don’t have any iterinary: no hotel, no plane flights, no plans.

My coworker told me to give the set-up date girl one more chance. He said she’s just shy. I told him that I’ve done my part, I even left her a voicemail that night, and texted her the next day, if she’s somewhat interested in me, she would’ve done something to show it. I’m not gonna sit here and wait for someone who doesn’t show their appreciation for my effort. I can give it to someone who wants it, who will be happier to have it. Girls are so complicated…well not all, she’s just one of the complicated ones. I told my coworker if it’s okay to let her know that we’ll just be friends instead and I don’t want anything serious. But he was giving all these reasons… like “oh let me tell my gf to see what’s going on, she’s shy” or “It seems like she’s too focused on getting a job” etc. I mean, I am interested but if she’s not showing anything, then I just want to be friends. SOoooo we’ll see how that goes. 

I’ve been talking to RN-girl from the club. She’s showing a lot of interest on me. I’ll see where that will lead us.

Work last night was another busy night. It was weird. My other coworker’s patient passed away too. It was also expected.

Just got home. One of my patients died. It sucks to have that responsibility but it’s part of my job. I had to talk really fast and leave the room because everyone in that room were crying and I kinda just wanted to cry with them. I was kinda tearing up and choking while I was trying to listen with my stethoscope. Bleh. Things like these makes me appreciate life even more. The family was so thankful to me and I was really glad I didn’t mess up. 
I have couple more days to go. I have to be back tonight for yet another fun night in the hospital. My usual coworkers are gonna be there so hopefully they’ll make the night fun.

Btw, that was my first death. It was weird ‘cause I was hoping to keep my career death-free. But that death was expected. The family were ready for it.

I just admitted this patient which we’re weaning him off from treatment. It’s pretty sad to be faced with this responsibility but things happen for a reason. For all of you who has someone you care, let them know that you do. Cherish the moments that they’re there with you. Because once their time or your time is up, you would be glad that you have done your part to be with them.

Woke up with a minor hangover. Ugh, I wish they cancel me tonight.

Met a girl at that local club, she’s alright. She works in one these hospitals so that’s kinda cool too.

They didn’t cancel me. I started with only 3 patients. The night was good except that I had to admit 2 patients and one of them was a no-resuscitation code.

This night’s gonna be an interesting night.

I hate break ups.

One more week until I go back to Philippines. Exciting and at the same time I can get my mind off things… I hope so. This has been a beautiful mess. I’m just relaxing today and I promised my friend to show him around the local college setting around here so we’ll see if he back out of it. 

So we went and met up with some friends at the local club.

had fun.

I hate break ups.

Woke up from a nightmare. It’s from the stupid movie Paranormal Activity. But instead of their place, it was mine. -_____-” Anyway, Didn’t do anything today but I’m going out for bowling with the new girl.

I think later on some of my coworkers from work are setting up another poker night. I might drop by later.

update:
Yeah, so I hung out with the new girl. Played some miniature golf and watched Date Night. Funny movie. Then we talked for a bit inside the car. I guess she knew that I have broke up with a girl a few weeks ago but she told me I’m “a hard book to read.” She told me how I already know logically what things have to be. The whole “things happen for a reason” and the whole break up stages and I’m coping very well but I already know that it’s too early for me to cope. I don’t know, she told me I was interesting because I’ve thought about every aspect of break ups; actions, behaviors, grieving, etc. I guess I do analyze the whole thing, but I also told her reality is different from theoreticals, people have destroyed themselves because emotions have overcame them, and I’ve also seen people break down with too much logic. It needs to be balanced. I also told her she’s not a rebound but she has to understand that I’ve gotten out of a break up and I’m not gonna rush through anything. I guess she’s mature to understand that, especially that she’s taking psychology with focus on human development. I told her that It’ll take a while to gain my trust since I’ve been hurt by it. We’ll just see how it goes from there.

I dropped her off and sped to my coworker’s poker game around 1am. I had to bond with them because they’re my lifeline at work. I have to put in face time around them so that I can also be accepted as a colleague and a peer. They’re really funny and very, very accommodating. I’m glad I’m in a good crowd, especially that I’m the youngest of them all. I’m taking my one coworker who’s around my age out because I guess he hasn’t gone out since he came from Philippines and went straight to work. It’s different because I grew up here and I took high school and college so I have a better advantage to where things are and how things work. We’re going to the local college bar/club scene around my area. I hope he’ll have fun tomorrow. I’m pretty sure he will, I’ll be his wingman, and plus, I need him as my wingman too.

The newest naruto chapter came out. That was cool. Today was a really good day. I got my car back and only paid $1,200 instead of a whopping $2,800 for a car fix. Got my car cleaned, then I got to hang out with this new girl who goes to my college. She’s really adorable. We watched Clash of the Titans and got dinner. It was a really cute date and I felt really happy. I even managed to listen to Jason Mraz songs and didn’t feel sad or lonely driving by myself back to my place. It was a different change. And I don’t feel like she’s a rebound…Maybe she is since the break up is recent but she didn’t remind me of any of my past. Just my present. I hope that made sense. 

Fell asleep after I got home then this other girl called me and we talked for like 2 hours. She entertained me with her stories so that was nice. I didn’t mind the call since I don’t really have anything for tomorrow. Now I’m all awake so I’m updating my tumblr.

You know tumblr, things are looking better now. I still feel sad and lonely about the whole situation but it’s for the best of things. She‘ll just be another one of the girls who slipped away, but it’s ok. Things happen for a reason. 

I hate break ups.

I cancelled work cuz I didn’t feel like working. Well what happened was that they called and asked me if I want to go to ER to work, I was like eh no thanks, don’t feel like doing some ER work tonight and told them I’ll just cancel myself. So there, I cancelled. Went out for some drinks with a friend. THEN my ex wanted to drop by at night. -_____-”’ Ugh. Well, there’s no harm and I didn’t have anything else to do except planing on watching some netflix. eh.

I hate break ups.